For such a time as this

Tomorrow is the first day of school. The first day of 7th grade for Ethan. The "official" first day of homeschool for both of us! It was a journey to get here...but if you've read this blog at all, you'll see that "journey" is the theme... I guess I could change the name...except...aren't we all on a journey to grace...??? Every school year, I had the same kind of hope. It sounded like this, "Maybe THIS will be the year that Ethan will thrive in the classroom." He just needed enough time to grow; with the right teacher; with the right combination of IEP supports; with ME in the right frame of mind. It was liberating to realize that the public school classroom just is NOT where he is going to thrive. He WILL thrive...it just won't be THERE! So right about now, I have this weight lifted off my shoulders. I have found my way OUT of this hope/disappointment cycle that has perpetuated every year. HOPING that THIS would be THE year...disappointed when I get that first call or email from the teacher "just to let me know...." That horrible sinking feeling in my gut when I see a teacher's name in my inbox, or on my call log. I know there will be days that try my patience. I know there will be days where I question our decision. But I know the reality will bring me peace: NOTHING was harder than having my son in a public school classroom. Nothing was harder than seeing him struggle. Nothing was harder than seeing him feel bad about himself. Nothing was harder than seeing him want friends so badly, only to be bullied. No matter how much or how little information he takes in during homeschool "lessons", it will be more than he took in in the classroom. Strangely, I've never felt so equipped on this parenthood journey as I do right now. Part of that came through the year of family therapy we did with a wonderful adoption attachment therapist. Part of that is my 16+ years of experience as a special education teacher. Part of that is my master's degree in curriculum and instruction....but MOST of it is knowing that my God has my back and has been preparing me ALL along for exactly THIS.... **Perhaps, I was made a homeschool mom for JUST such a time as THIS**