Care Package #3

We sent our third (and probably final) care package to Kai. We included a Mickey Mouse t-shirt, tube of safari animals, goodies for him and his foster siblings, and a small stuffed bunny. I also included a special gift for his foster mother. I had Brian Stuy's wife translate a letter thanking her for caring for Kai and letting her know how special she is to us. The necklace you see pictured above is a gift for her. It's a gold pendant with children holding hands around a small heart.

Kai's Finding Ad

First, a little background:
Every child adopted out of China gets their picture placed in a local paper to see if a birth parent will come forward to care for them. When this does not happen, they are declared an official "orphan" and they are available for adoption. Hence the term: "finding ad".

The first picture above is of the publication itself. It's a short little newspaper, probably something for their local community. The second picture is of a section in the middle of the paper. Kai's picture is 4th from the right on the bottom row. The third picture is a close up of the ad itself. The writing below it only contains the identifying information that we already know:

Name: Cheng Kai
Sex: Male
Birthdate: January 20, 2004
Finding date: March 1, 2004
Finding location: Near #58 Xinglong Street, Qixinggang, Yuzhong District
Characteristic of body: Weak
Items found along with him: Nothing

Many times, adoptive parents are supplied with copies of these ads when they arrive in China to adopt their child. However, there is this amazing man named, Brian Stuy who makes it his business to track information in China regarding adoption. He collects, logs and files many of the newspapers and advertisements that contain finding ads. We supplied him with Kai's identifying information It turns out he had the actual publication that has Kai's finding ad in it!

For more information on the research Brian does, you can check out his website at: www.research-china.org

Most of the time, finding ads are run when the children are found (when they are babies). We were quite surprised to see Kai's finding ad. The publication was dated May 2007. The referral information we were given dates back to July/August 2007. After inquiring with Brian and also with our agency, there really is no way to know WHY Kai's finding ad was not run until he was 3.5 years old. I have had to resign myself that this will be another one of many mysteries there are with international adoption. Just when you think you know what to expect....Just when you think you have an answer to a question....Just when you think you understand how things are going to be....

Also interesting to note: this section of the paper had 26 older children listed. The next page of the paper also had 24 newborn babies shown-many of whom clearly had a cleft lip. So many questions...so few answers...

My favorite poems, verses, sayings about Adoption

The man whispered, "God, speak to me" and a Chickadee sang.
But, the man did not hear.
So the man yelled "God, speak to me!" And, the thunder rolled across the sky.
But, the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said, "God let me see you." And a star shined brightly.
But the man did not notice.
And, the man shouted, "God show me a miracle!" And, a life was born.
But, the man did not know.
So, the man cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here!"
Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man.
But, the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.
Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.

The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
--- Lao-Tzu


LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother

Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun

The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears

One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.
---- Unknown

Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it
--- Fleur Conkling Heylinger


The Gift of Life

I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.

For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
--- Unknown

I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.
---1 Samuel 1:27

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, `Give them up!' and to the south, `Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth--
--- Isaiah 43: 5-6

Like cold water to a weary soul, is good news from a distant land.
--- Proverbs 25:25

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.
--- An ancient Chinese belief